


boys will be boys

by restless5oul



Category: GP2 Series RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Casual Sex, Confusion, Idiots in Love, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Pining, Rare Pairings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 02:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13180338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/restless5oul/pseuds/restless5oul
Summary: "that doesn't mean we're dating, it's not the same thing.""gee thanks."





	boys will be boys

**Author's Note:**

> i'm lowkey sorry for the way i used some of the minor characters in this fic haha.  
> also there is a scene towards the middle/end of this fic which sort of features non-consenual touching, so just a warning.

“I should finish on the podium more often.”

George somehow managed to say somewhere in between Jack undoing the buttons on his jeans and near enough shoving their mouths together. Jack was one of those people that never stopped moving to think for just a second and kissing him was no different.

“You do that enough. It wouldn’t kill you to return the favour occasionally would it?” Jack muttered, his face pressed into George’s neck, his breath tickling him, as he slipped his hands inside his jeans.

George might have had a clever retort, had he not been distracted by the way Jack was working at tugging his already half-hard cock out of his underwear. Perhaps he should have been embarrassed given that they had only stumbled into his room a few minutes ago. But this had been playing on his mind since he had taken the chequered flag. And it had been all he was thinking about once the euphoria of victory had worn off. Maybe he needed to straighten out his priorities, he thought to himself, but he forgot all about that idea when Jack grabbed him by the back of the neck again and kissed him hard, in the uncompromising way that he did everything. This _thing_ that they did had started off as some stupid bet, but it had become habitual. You could have said that they thought of it as a chore or duty, but that sounded like they didn’t enjoy it. And the smirk on Jack’s face, and the way George was practically panting now said differently.

“Alright, I’ll see you later,” Alex’s laughing voice floated into the room from the other side of the door, and both Jack and George broke apart, looking towards the door, like they were waiting for it to be opened. Maybe it was reckless of them to do this when George had a roommate. But in all honesty he had almost completely forgotten about Alex. He was completely frozen, like his body was refusing to move even though his mind was screaming at him to run.

Luckily, Jack had more wits about him, because he pulled him forwards so he could drag him into the bathroom. It was easier said than done when George’s jeans were halfway down his thighs, making him trip as he hurried so he didn’t fall. But his was sped on by the sound of Alex trying to get his room key into the door, and Jack shut the bathroom door just as Alex opened his. George waited for Alex to call out and ask who was there, and he prayed to God that he didn’t walk into the bathroom. He would have a hard time explaining why he was in the process of getting undressed while Jack clung onto him, his hand still resting on his crotch.

Jack pressed one palm to George’s mouth as they listened to Alex pottering about in the room. It was true that he was breathing rather heavily, but he didn’t think he was being that loud. Though he realised that there was another reason Jack had done that when he wrapped his nimble fingers around his cock, moving his hand up and down slowly. George tried to glare at him, but he didn’t try to pull him off, just dug his nails into his forearm, and held himself up by gripping onto his shoulder with his other hand. Jack only pressed his hand down over George’s mouth harder, though he still had to bite his tongue for good measure.

After what seemed like an agonisingly long time, they heard the hotel room door slam again as Alex left. And Jack finally moved his hand, letting George exhale.

“That was close,” he giggled, like it was the funniest thing that had happened to him in some time. George managed a smile, though really he was mortified at the prospect of Alex walking in on them, it made joking about the matter harder. Well that, and the fact that Jack was still holding his dick.

“Aren’t you going to finish?” was all he said, raising an eyebrow, making Jack snort.

“Don’t be so impatient,” Jack scolded, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips and sinking to his knees.

***

Maybe letting Jack wank him off in the front seat of his car – and returning the favour himself - before they’d got to Alex’s wasn’t the best idea they’d ever had, but it had been a few weeks since he’d gotten any and it wasn’t illegal to be horny. But it did mean that he couldn’t help himself but stare as Jack stretched out on the sofa, his t-shirt riding up his chest. He was prone to doing stupid things where Jack was concerned, so it wasn’t too surprising. And he knew that was exactly why he had asked Jack for a lift, despite having a perfectly good car of his own. Budapest had been the last time they’d seen each other alone, and George has missed Jack, yes as a friend, but also in other ways too. He didn’t get any from anywhere else, which gave their friendship an unhealthy dependency on his part, but he tended not to think too much about it. He suspected that Jack probably slept with other people, mainly just because his primary mode of communication was flirting. He wasn’t mad about it, or even particularly jealous, he just thought about it sometimes.

He snapped out of that inane train of thought when Alex handed him his cup of tea, and he was a little embarrassed to see that Jack was grinning at him, clearly having noticed that he was staring. He just stuck his tongue out at him. But Callum squished in beside him, breaking their eye contact and the moment was gone.

As they often were during the offseason or on their free weekends, Alex had invited them all round to his house, George and Jack, along with Nirei, Callum and Jake. Nothing too crazy this time, just takeaway pizza; making the most of not having to race for a few months – though George knew he would pay for it in his next training session. They’d retreated to the living room, the six of them squished onto the sofas and arm chairs, just trying to catch up and have a laugh.

“Wait I have a question!” Callum said excitedly as his laughter subsided from some anecdote Jack was telling, “For _you_.”

He pointed at Jake who was sat on the floor by George’s feet. George sat up a little, assuming this was some drama he was missing out on from the F3 paddock.

“Me?” Jake pointed at himself sounding a little confused.

“Yeah you. You and Lando,” Callum grinned sitting back, looking very pleased with himself, like he had uncovered some big secret. His smile dropped when Jake just laughed at him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jake chuckled, shaking his head.

“Come off it! There’s totally something going on, I thought you were dating!” Callum protested, looking very sure of himself. George wondered briefly whether Jake was just a really good liar, or whether Callum was even less perceptive than he thought.

“No, no I meant I can’t believe _you_ realised,” Jake laughed again, looking very casual about the whole thing even though everyone else was gawking at him. If Callum had just revealed he was secretly dating Lando, then George didn’t know how he was taking it so well.

“Wait you and the hobbit!?” Jack asked, his voice rising in both pitch and volume in his surprised state. Jake just shrugged.

“Sort of,” he said taking a sip before he rounded on Callum again, “Though you’re one to talk, what about you and Günther?”

Callum’s face flushed so brightly George thought he was going to pass out. He was too busy trying to catch up on all these revelations. Though he wasn’t overly surprised. These kind of things tended to happen when there was all that tension and hormones flying around. He was proof of that.

“Shut up,” Callum mumbled, pressing his face into his hands, like he could hide from the conversation.

“This is not what I expected when Alex suggested this get together,” Jack said, shaking his own head in disbelief, “Way to go in making us feel bad for being painfully single.”

“Well you’re not exactly single,” Alex said, and George could have sworn his heart stopped. He didn’t know whether he hoped he was referring to the two of them, as embarrassing as that would be, or whether he’d rather Alex was outing Jack and someone else. Jack glanced at him quickly, his face betraying nothing, while George was sure he was an open book. Neither of them had a chance to say anything before Alex spoke again.

“I know you were doing God knows what with George in the bathroom in Budapest when I went back to our room to change, and then there was the time I caught you two making out behind the truck in Silverstone. Oh and not to mention the time you scarred my brain for the rest of my life when I walked in on you giving him a blowjob in Austria,” Alex rattled off his little list and George would have liked very much to punch him in the face in that moment, especially when he saw the open mouthed way Callum and Jake were staring at him, and Nirei looked like he couldn’t believe he hadn’t realised all of this was going on.

Alex was probably under the impression that they were in some kind of committed relationship, so reeling off their sexual exploits wasn’t really an issue. But the truth was little more unorthodox than that.

“That doesn’t mean we’re dating,” Jack said, with a bark of a laugh, waving Alex off, “It’s not the same thing.”

“Gee thanks,” George snorted before he could help himself, feeling a little bitter and hurt all of a sudden. Even though he 100% agreed with Jack’s assessment of their relationship. He did agree with him didn’t he?

If their friends could have looked anymore surprised or confused, then they did in that moment. Even Alex looked a little caught off guard, as he clearly assumed he had them sussed out.

“I need a real drink,” Nirei groaned, slinking off to the kitchen.

George could see Jack looking at him from his spot on the opposite sofa but he was determinedly avoiding his gaze. There was something about the casual, blasé way he had brushed Alex’s suggestions aside that rubbed him the wrong way. And he was left with a bristling irritation in the pit of his stomach, and maybe just a little bit of hurt too. Not that he would admit that. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much.

But it put him in a bad enough mood to make him sit sullenly and silently for the rest of the evening, glaring into his mug while Jack sent significant looks his way. Not that he was much of a talker in his best moods, but everyone else definitely noticed that he wasn’t smiling or laughing along like he usually did. And him being pissed off at Jack just seemed to serve to piss him off in return.

Eventually, he had to tell Jack that it was getting late and he needed to get off home. He was his ride after all, but that was met with the same cold attitude that he had been sporting for most of the evening.

“Oh I’m going stay here for the night, if that’s okay Alex?” Jack said, barely even looking at George as he spoke to Alex instead.

“Um, yeah that’s fine,” Alex shrugged, looking very confused at the frostiness between his two friends.

George just glared at the side of his head, wondering how on earth he was going to get home now. A taxi would be astronomically expensive and he couldn’t bear the thought of having to share Alex’s spare room with Jack, as he had done on a number of occasions in the past.

“I could give you a lift?” Callum offered quietly, and he smiled when George sent him a relieved look.

George pointedly ignored Jack as he said his goodbyes to the rest of his friends, grabbing his jacket and piling into Callum’s little car. Callum looked more than a little awkward as he let himself into the driver’s seat. He let the awkward silence hang over them for a while before he finally broke it, sounding like he was desperate to ask questions.

“So are you going to tell me what that was in there?” Callum asked, and George could sense him looking his way, even though he had turned his head so he was glancing out of the window into the dark night instead.

“Honestly I don’t really know,” he shrugged, unhelpfully too, when it was so clear that he was irritated. But he had never claimed to be easy when he was in a bad mood.

“But let me just get this straight,” Callum said and George glanced at him, glad to see that his eyes were now fixed on the road ahead, “You and Jack sleep together?”

“Well yeah,” George said, aware that he might as well just tell the truth about it, “We fool around.”

“And it’s just totally casual?”

“Of course.”

“Then why did you get so pissed off at him when he said that?”

“I…don’t know.”

It was the truth. Before he had felt his reaction to Jack’s words, he would have said the same thing. But he couldn’t ignore or pretend he didn’t feel the upset in the heart of his chest. It was how unexpected the reaction had been that made it feel worse – like he didn’t even know how he felt anymore.

“I guess it probably just hurt to hear him talk that way about you?” Callum suggested. George just shrugged again, wincing at that way he identified the issue so quickly, while Callum continued his line of enquiry. In some ways he wished he wouldn’t, but it also helped a little to talk about it. He had never discussed it with anyone but Jack. In fact, he barely even talked about with him.

“Have you ever actually tried hooking up with anyone else?” Callum asked, and George felt his face heat up even though he wasn’t looking at him.

“No I haven’t, not like I do with Jack anyway.”

“Maybe you just need to get him out of your system.”

“You’re not saying that you and I should-?”

“No! No, God no! No offence of course, but no,” Callum laughed, “But just someone else. Even if it’s just a kiss or something. It might help you decide how you feel. You’re good looking enough, there will be someone out there who’ll go for you.”

George laughed, assuming Callum was joking, but his expression was sincere.

“Think about it.”

***

Callum’s advice played over in George’s head when he walked into the bar in Spa. It wasn’t that weird for him to be there, he’d had one of the best weekends of the season so far so he deserved a drink or two. What had felt weird was standing on the top step of the podium with Jack beside him and just feeling cool indifference rather than giddy expectation. Not that he had any desire to seek him out in that moment, his bad mood where Jack was concerned hadn’t subsided much. So that was why he walked straight on past him, not giving him so much as a sideways glance and instead walked over to where he saw Alex by the bar chatting with Charles.

“Hi,” he said to the two of them, a little distractedly, as he glanced around the room to see who else was there, before ordering himself a drink.

“Uh hi,” Alex said, looking a little wary about George’s behaviour, “You still fighting with Jack?”

George picked his drink off the bar, and took a lengthy gulp before he even thought about answering.

“No,” he snapped, scowling, the blatant lie sounding cold and rude.

He wasn’t really sure why he lied when Alex clearly knew the truth. And when he caught the hurt expression on Alex’s face he felt a twinge of guilt, but he didn’t apologise. He didn’t really know what was wrong with him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Charles looking at him with an alarmed expression on his face, clearly completely in the dark about what was going on. But George didn’t have the energy to explain. And Alex seemed to realise that he wasn’t going to be exactly forthcoming on topics of conversation where Jack was concerned.

“Okay…” Alex said, drawing out the vowels of the word. George was still glancing around the room, trying to catch someone’s, anyone’s eye. Maybe it was a little desperate. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling frustrated given the lack of sex he’d been having in Jack’s absence. Plus, in a mean kind of way, if he was going to leave with someone, he really wanted Jack to see.

“What are you doing?” Charles asked him, looking even more concerned than he had moments ago.

“Nothing,” George shrugged, still not looking at him. He didn’t have the heart to be mean to someone he didn’t know so well like Charles, but he was hardly going to tell him about the bizarre plan he had concocted in his head. A plan he didn’t even fully understand himself. He just knew it involved finding someone else to mess around with until he stopped feeling confused and upset about Jack and his lack of care where George was concerned.

Luck must have been on his side, because Alessio caught his eye from the other side of the room, and George smiled. He wasn’t bad looking at all, even if he didn’t drive him half mad like Jack did, he could definitely go for that. He drained the rest of his drink, still maintaining eye contact, and he watched the Italian slowly break into a grin and make his way over to him.

“Can I get you another?” he asked, pointing to George’s now empty glass.

“Sure,” George nodded, turning away from Alex and Charles who were now staring at him like he was completely insane.

And maybe he was. But honestly he didn’t mind dancing with Alessio, even if he was half drunk and kept standing on his toes. And he definitely didn’t mind when he wound his arms around his waist so he could reach down and squeeze his ass. Especially not when he caught Jack glowering at them from the side of the room. When he caught Jack looking he made sure that he pressed their bodies closer together, barely a whisper of air between the two of them. Maybe it felt a little wrong because his heart wasn’t entirely in it, but he could ignore that small seed of doubt in his mind. He wasn’t naturally a very flirtatious or forthcoming person, but Alessio didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t saying anything particularly smooth or charming. He seemed to understand what he was doing and what he wanted. And that was all George wanted.

In the end George got what he wanted. Alessio pulled him into the bathroom, and into a cubicle. The night was winding down, and he very much doubted anyone was likely to walk into the draughty and slightly run down toilets.

George decided that he hadn’t hated it when they were finished, he would even say he enjoyed it, Alessio definitely knew what he was doing and that made it easier. But as they both pulled up their jeans, trying to straighten their shirts and fix their bedraggled hair, he was left feeling a little empty inside. It had been good, but it hadn’t been Jack. Still he couldn’t hold that against Alessio.

“Thanks for that,” he muttered, leaning in to press one more clumsy kiss to the Italian’s lips, before he unlocked the cubicle and stepped outside.

The bar was almost completely empty, and the workers were starting to wipe down the tables and clear away the empty glasses. But sat around one of the small tables on the other side of the room were Alex and Jack, seemingly caught in deep conversations. They both looked up at George as he left the bathroom, and he hesitated, like a deer caught in headlights, the three of them frozen, staring at each other. When Alessio exited a few seconds later and walked on past him, with just a quick backwards glance and a wink, he felt vindicated. But also incredibly guilty, like he had done something wrong. But he reminded himself that wasn’t the case. He had nothing to feel bad about. He didn’t owe Jack anything. So he tore his gaze away from his two friends and walked out of the bar, and into the cool Belgian air, trying hard to feel like he hadn’t done anything wrong.

***

After the ease of convincing Alessio to let George fuck him in Spa, not all of his attempts were quite so successful. Usually, he was on the wrong side of tipsy, so he could push aside the embarrassment of having Charles politely decline him before Monza. Maybe that had been punching a little above his weight. But he had figured it was worth a shot. He wasn’t always looking for an easy fuck though. Sometimes he just wanted a date. Someone to be seen with and spend time with. If he was being totally honest, now that him and Jack weren’t on speaking terms, his social circle had shrunk considerably. He had never realised before that he was friends with so many people through Jack, and it felt wrong to impose himself on them without his (ex?) best friend.

He could hang out with his teammates, of course, but he didn’t want them to feel like they had to split their time between the two of them. So he just preferred to keep to himself. Even if he had now somehow got himself tangled into a little mission of seemingly working his way through the support race paddock.

The cancelled race in Monza meant that by midday on Sunday George had the championship almost within his reach, putting him in a positively buoyant mood, despite the fact that he was still miserably avoiding Jack. They spoke when they needed to, and they seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement not to let their stupid feud about God knows what affect the team, but apart from that they did not spend time together.

Like he always was, Jack showed his face when George went out that night. Nirei and Anthoine had clearly decided that they would hang out with him, while Alex got stuck with George. He could practically feel his old friend’s worry vibrating off him as he kept a close eye on George, probably to make sure he didn’t make the mistake of accosting Charles again.

But four drinks in, and George managed to shake Alex once he saw Ticktum eying him interestedly from the bar. Maybe it was because he was the new guy and he was looking for someone to latch onto, given that he scarcely knew his teammates. George vaguely knew him; the world of motorsports was a small one after all. They had never been close, if anything George had a pretty low opinion of him, but maybe that was exactly what he needed. Though at this point he was just grasping at straws and looking for excuses.

Every date, and kiss, and fuck just left him feeling worse than the last. Even the good ones. It was like he was looking for something, but he didn’t know what, and he came away feeling useless and hallow. If he had felt shit about himself before, it was nothing compared to how much he disliked himself now.

Given that he didn’t know Dan that well, George just suggested that they went outside where it was quieter, and figured he would gauge his reaction from there. He made it pretty clear in the end though when he led George round into an alcove, and pressed his back against the cool stone wall so he could push their mouths together. He tried to focus on Dan’s tongue licking its way inside his mouth, and the hands in his hair, the alcohol making them both fumble a little. But he was distracted by how his shoulders dug into the hard wall, and how the air was so humid that beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead.

It was always like that when he tried anything with other people, half of his mind was always elsewhere. It had never been like that with Jack, he always managed to seamlessly occupy every space of his mind.

The thought of Jack just made him kiss Dan harder, pressing his knee in between his legs, enjoying the low groan that caught in his throat. Vaguely out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approaching, but he didn’t really take much notice of them until they spoke.

“George!” it was Alex, and his voice was loud and commanding, like he was telling off a naughty child. Which was exactly how George felt when he pushed Dan away and stood there red faced, feeling like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. Which was largely true.

“Whoops,” Dan giggled, shrugging, giving George a second glance before he slinked off, sensing that this was something he didn’t want to get involved with.

As Alex approached him, George was glad for the wall propping him up, because he wasn’t sure he could have stood up without it.

“Alex hey,” he chuckled, noticing the slightly annoyed expression on Alex’s face but grinning anyway.

“What on earth are you doing?” his friend asked him, sounding completely at a loss for a meaning to George’s actions. He wished Alex knew, because then he could have told him. It was as though he was trying to prove a point. But to whom he didn’t know. To Jack? To himself? To his friends? To everyone? It was anyone’s guess.

“ _Kissing,_ Alex,” he rolled his eyes like he was exasperated, but he was still grinning, “Have you ever tried it?”

The sudden blush on Alex’s cheeks made him laugh harder. The sane part of his mind wondered whether he was totally delirious. Or whether he had lost his mind completely. Everything he had been doing for the past couple of months certainly pointed to that.

“Aw come here buddy,” he giggled, tripping forwards and placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder to steady himself. Then he leant in.

Kissing Alex was a hundred times weirder than kissing anyone else. There was something endearing about the way he made a surprised sound. If he had ever wanted to think about how kissing Alex would feel, it would have been like this; awkward and sweet. But it was also way too familiar. And though he responded for a fraction of a second, George was secretly glad when Alex pushed him away.

“George stop,” he said, sounding even more irritated, though he still sported a shocked expression, and maybe a little bit of hurt that George had just lumped him in with everyone else he tried it on with. It was that look that sobered him up considerably. And he felt like even more of a fool than he had when Alex had wandered in on him and Dan.

“Alex I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he shook his head, his eyes looking sad, still using his hand on Alex’s shoulder to hold himself up. His friend just gave him a pitying look.

“It’s ok,” he sighed, looping an arm around George’s torso so he could hold him upright, “Let’s get you back to your room.”

“Alex I really am sorry,” he apologised again, as the two of them started walking very slowly and very carefully. He felt teary all of a sudden, like he was only just realising what a mess he was. And part of that turned into anger at Jack for making him that way. He knew it was wrong of him to blame Jack, but he couldn’t help it.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” Alex sounded alarmed and he stopped so he could wipe the shining fat tear from George’s cheek, “You’re made of stronger stuff than this.”

George sniffed, but steadied himself, straightening his back and steeling his nerves. He had to get a grip. Especially if he was going to be ungracefully led through a room of his fellow competitors. He might as well save what little dignity he had left.

He let Alex lead him all the way back to his hotel room, and even let him tuck him into bed, beneath the blankets that were much too thick for the summer. Before he left George reached up and wrapped his arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug.

“Thank you for being such a good friend, I’ve been such a shit one.”

“You’re alright George, just go to sleep.”

***

Alex was kind enough not to mention what happened in Monza. Not about Dan, or about George kissing him. And for that he was so grateful. He had woken up the next morning with a stinking headache, and an even worse sense of embarrassment and shame. Alex had knocked on his door to invite him down for breakfast and George was sure he was going to say something. Maybe lecture him. But the nearest he got to referencing it was the tighter than usual hug he had given him. Somehow knowing that Alex felt bad for him made him feel even more guilty.

But it put paid to his bizarre and quite frankly stupid method of getting over Jack. Because that is what the crux of it was. It was why he had felt so hurt when Jack brushed aside what they did as though it was nothing. It was why he couldn’t forgive him and let things go back to the way they were. And it was why nothing he did with anyone else felt right. He had feelings for Jack, and he hated it.

Not because he hated Jack, quite the opposite. They had been friends, best friends in fact, for so long and George felt like he knew him like the back of his hand. He knew what made him laugh and what made him angry. He knew almost everything about him, and he had fallen for all of that while he hadn’t been paying attention. But it was because he knew him so well that he knew this was only going to end in heartbreak for him. With the exception of racing, there was scarcely a thing in the world that Jack took seriously. He was the best person to go to if you wanted to laugh, because he treated everything so casually. Which was probably why their arrangement had worked so well for him. Even on the slim chance that he allowed himself to feel something in return for George, those kind of feelings were far too serious for Jack to act upon.

He gave up chasing after half the paddock. He wanted badly to be back on speaking terms with Jack. But he didn’t know how to bridge that gap. He couldn’t explain why he had been so angry in the first place. And he knew that Jack would have heard about what he had been doing, and he couldn’t explain that either. So he just moped around in the vain hope that Jack would break the ice between them first. It wasn’t so bad when he had sealing the championship to focus on. But it still sucked.

He had hoped Jack might say something when he came up to congratulate him on winning the title, even though he had beaten him. But he just shook his hand and gave him a tight smile.

“Congrats man,” he said, “Shame I couldn’t beat you in the end.”

“Thank you. You raced really well,” was all he could say in return.

It was only later during the after party that any significant really happened. It was an event that was supposed to be a celebration for George, but it had been ages since he had been in the mood to party. He could see Charles and his Prema team going wild, and smiled, glad someone was having fun at least.

Nirei had attempted to accost him and drag him onto the dance floor several times, but he wasn’t having it. Alex didn’t seem to mind keeping him company, and George was grateful that he at least seemed to understand a little. It didn’t look too suspicious though, he had never been the life of the party after all. That was always Jack.

It was incredibly hot and sticky inside the hotel function room, and after a couple of hours George had to slip away and into the bathroom, just so he could splash some water onto his face. He had barely had two drinks but his cheeks were glowing and his shirt was clinging to his skin in a very unattractive way.

He had his face in the sink, bent over so he could collect the water in his hands and wet his face, the cold water soothing his warm skin. There was the sound of the door opening, the loud music blaring into the otherwise quiet bathroom, before the door swung shut again and someone spoke.

“Hey champ,” a mostly unfamiliar voice said as the heavy bass of the music became a muffled pounding again. George glanced over his shoulder to see Dan stood there, smiling. His immediate reaction was a surge of embarrassment, but his face was already red, so he hoped it didn’t show.

“Hi,” he mumbled straightening up to his full height and reaching over to pull a paper towel out of the dispenser. He patted his face dry, grimacing at his reflection in the mirror as Dan sauntered over to him, a look on his face that George didn’t like at all. Dan leant back against the sinks beside him, tilting his head so he could look up at him.

“Fancy celebrating?” he asked, and like it was no big deal at all, he reached over to slap George on the ass, making him jump. He supposed he should have expected that, coming onto him Monza as he had and never explaining what his intentions were. How was Dan to know that he had just been acting like a prat, and didn’t want to turn this into a regular thing?

“Dan I didn’t-…I mean I’m not,” he stammered, trying to find the words to explain himself but Dan was too busy tugging him by the arm so that he was pushed up against him, one of his hands still resting on George’s ass, the other holding his hand.

“What are you playing hard to get now?” Dan laughed, clearly under the impression that this was some kind of game of George’s, “Even before I got here I heard about you, I _know_ you don’t mind this. Why don’t we pick up where we left off?”

George just shook his head, preoccupied with the revelation that his stupidity had garnered himself a reputation that extended beyond those who actually knew him. God knows what people were saying about him. Only the feeling of Dan’s lips on his neck jolted him back to reality.

“No I’m not kidding,” he said, trying to pull away, and despite himself he felt guilty when he saw the flash of embarrassment and rejection on Dan’s face, “I don’t want this.”

“What?” Dan barked a laugh that wasn’t amused in the least, “Suddenly you’re too good for me?”

“No it’s not-,” George started but was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and someone else walking into the bathroom.

And he couldn’t decide whether he was horrified or relieved to find Jack standing there. A blend of different emotions flickered across his face at lightning speed so fast that even George, who knew him so well, couldn’t see how he felt to have caught him in this compromising position.

“You might want to come back later, we’re busy,” Dan said coolly, his mouth still centimetres from George.

From his reflection in the mirror, he could see Jack look up at him as if to ask him if that’s what he wanted him to do. George’s face must have said it all because Jack squared his shoulders and marched over to them.

“I think maybe it would be best if you just fucked off, eh?” Jack said, and despite his small stature there was something incredibly intimidating about the way he glared at Dan, who recoiled visibly, dropping his hand from George’s wrist, but not moving away just yet.

“Who do you-?” he started to say, but Jack but across him.

“I said fuck off!” he snapped, and this time Dan pushed past them both, making sure he his shoulder bumped Jack’s on his way out, shoving the bathroom door open as he left.

There was a weighty silence in the room for a few seconds as George just stared at Jack, who was staring at the door that Dan had just left out of. He knew he should probably thank him. But he was feeling a little rattled by the whole thing, and there was a strong sense of self loathing creeping up on him when he realised that his idiocy had got himself stuck in that situation. So he wasn’t surprised when Jack looked at him and said;

“You’re like half a foot taller than him and you couldn’t shove him away?” he sounded thoroughly unimpressed and disappointed in George. And he supposed he deserved that.

But his face softened a little, and he reached out his hand, like he was going to touch George on the arm, but he seemed to change his mind, just letting it hover next to him instead. George couldn’t stand to see him look at him that way. A mix of pity and tenderness that made him feel even more stupid.

“Seriously though, are you okay?” Jack asked, as George dropped his head to look down at his feet.

“Yeah I’m fine,” he muttered, and he knew Jack could tell he was lying.

An awkward tension settled over them, as they both seemed to realise that this was the first time they had been alone in months, and the first time they had even attempted to have a real conversation with each other.

Jack took a breath like he was about to say something, but he seemed to change his mind because the silence continued. So George lifted his head and supposed it was up to him to say something.

“I really miss you,” he blurted out before he could think of anything smarter to say. He was talking like he’d had far more than one and a half pints to drink. Jack looked surprised to hear him say that, one of his eyebrows quirked as he seemed to mull over George’s words.

“I’ve missed you too,” he said. And George didn’t know whether he was referring to the sex or just George in general. He kind of hoped it was the latter. Or maybe both. The confession from Jack was enough to get his hopes up. It was more emotional than he ever got.

Maybe that was why it was so easy for Jack to wordlessly lead him upstairs and into his hotel room. Not that George was doing this under any false pretences. He was fully aware that this was most likely just like they had done it before – easy, no strings attached – but he would take that. After so much dissatisfaction it was like ecstasy to touch Jack again.

That first kiss, when Jack pulled on his shirt so he could wrap his arms around George was everything he had imagined. Maybe even better, considering he had been deprived for so long. It felt like relief and longing all rolled up into one, and George couldn’t have Jack close enough as he pushed him back onto the bed and leant over him, his hands clumsily trying to undo his shirt.

He had to bite the inside of his mouth to stop himself saying something when Jack lay there in front of him naked, his legs spread as he tried to tear open the condom wrapper with his mouth. Carefully, he sat up so he could roll it into George’s cock, rubbing his hand up and down his length a couple of times for good measure. He had to push aside the little voice in his head that wanted to say something really stupid in that moment when he looked down at Jack. Instead he had to settle for pulling him into a rushed kiss before he lay back down again.

Jack pulled down on the back of his neck so he could rest their foreheads together as George pushed inside of him, unable to stop himself from moaning with how good it felt to feel Jack quivering around his hard cock. He kept one hand on the side of Jack’s face, the other on the mattress beside his head, as he pulled his hips back slowly before thrusting forward again, watching Jack’s face carefully. Once Jack was grabbing at his hips, trying to get him to speed up, only then did he let go. Like he had been starved of this, his hands and mouth roamed over every available inch of Jack’s body as he thrust in and out of him.

“Fuck,” Jack groaned, throwing his head back, and George hoped it felt as good for him. He hoped that he too was now realising that no one else was ever going to feel like this.

He couldn’t even feel embarrassed like he used to when he came with Jack’s name on his tongue, especially not when he felt Jack tense around him a few seconds later, biting his own lip to stop himself saying anything stupid. Feeling sore and with aching muscles, George somehow found the strength to pull out of Jack, trying to toss the used condom into the bin and not really caring when he missed, before throwing himself face down on the bed beside him. He turned his head so he could look at Jack. He was still lying on his back, his chest rising and falling deeply, he had his eyes closed and George would have given anything to know what he was thinking in that moment.

“That was…” he muttered, but didn’t seem to have the words to finish his sentence.

“I know,” George smiled as Jack rolled over and opened his eyes, a wicked grin on his face. But George still had a heavy heart. Because he knew that he couldn’t go back to their old ways. As much as he might have liked to, it wasn’t going to help him.

“I missed this so much,” Jack murmured, shuffling closer and trailing his fingers up the bumps of George’s spine, the touch soothing enough that George found his eyelids fluttering close. Jack’s deft fingers traced meaningless shapes onto the smooth skin of his back, and George had to turn his face away from him, lest Jack see his expression when he said what he had to say. He knew what the subtext was in Jack’s words, and for once, he had to say no to him.

“I can’t start doing this again though,” he said quietly, the stilling of Jack’s fingers making it clear that he had heard him.

“The championship is over George; you don’t need to be worried about this getting in the way. I know you want this as much as I do,” Jack said, resting a flat palm on George’s back. George had to squeeze his eyes shut tighter, his heart screaming at him to just give in. He wanted to take what he could get from Jack, but at the same time he knew it wouldn’t be enough.

“It’s not that,” he shook his head, before trying to sound more upbeat as he added, “Besides, I’m sure you can find someone else, being as charming as you are.”

There was a pause before Jack whispered;

“I don’t want anyone else.”

George wished he hadn’t. It was _almost_ like the very thing he wanted to hear, but he knew from Jack’s tone of voice that it wasn’t quite. Jack wanted to ease of his hook-up being his best friend, the familiarity and comfort that came with knowing him so well. At most, maybe he just wanted George for what he looked like, though he even doubted that. He had to ignore the handful of silent tears that dampened the pillow next to his face, and the coldness that overcame him when Jack pulled his hand away.

“I wish you wouldn’t say that,” he whispered, trying not to sound as choked up as he felt, “You’ll only break my heart.”

***

It was easier and harder than George anticipated to go back to being just friends with Jack. He really had missed his best friend, and everyone on the team seemed happier now that they were back on speaking terms. Especially Alex, who had bundled them both into a group hug when they had appeared at breakfast together the morning after in Jerez. It was nice to hang out with everyone again. And it was only then that George realised how lonely he had been without Jack.

But it was nearly impossible for the two of them to be left alone together. George felt like he was walking on broken glass, and it was clear Jack did too. His reckless words in Jerez had made his feelings pretty clear, unless Jack was far less perceptive than he thought. And Jack seemed to go to painful lengths not to upset him; he never let his touches linger for too long, or looked his way for longer than was necessary. It made George feel fragile and breakable. Even though he was taking care not to say or do anything that would put Jack in another uncomfortable situation. It wasn’t his fault after all that George had feelings for him. In the end they just had to avoid being left alone together where they could.

Still, it was better than it had been. And that was enough.

Sometimes finding them stuck just the two of them was an inevitability. Though on the occasion that Alex had driven back to the hotel without George from the track in Abu Dhabi, he was fairly sure that it was not accident that Jack was the one he had left him with.

“I can give you a lift, if you like?” Jack offered, and George could hardly say no.

It was weird to be sat in the car, with Jack just inches away from him, and if he were a weaker man, George would do something he would later regret. But he stayed where he was, and smiled as he listened to Jack hum along to the radio, to a song he definitely didn’t know. He was struck by a feeling of fondness, again, as he watched him tap his fingers on the steering wheel and bop his head in time with the music.

“Do you want to get something to eat? I’m starving,” he suddenly said, his eyes still on the road ahead. He looked bizarrely nervous, as he chewed on his bottom lip, a habit he’d had as long as George could remember. But he didn’t question it.

“Um yeah sure,” he said, trying to sound casual.

George expected that they would just go to the restaurant in their hotel. Or maybe, in true Jack fashion, go to some fast food chain and eat burgers in his car. But instead he drove for some time, like he’d had somewhere in mind all along, and ended up parking outside a very fancy looking steakhouse by the harbour. George looked at Jack, but he didn’t say anything.

“I have a table for two booked?” he said to the maître d’ when the two of them entered the restaurant that was mostly empty, given that it was past dinner time. That just surprised George even more. But Jack simply ignored the second look he sent his way. There should have been no way that Jack would have known that Alex would leave George stranded, shouldn’t there?

Neither of them said anything as they were lead to their table, nor when they sat down and pretended to study the menus that had been handed to them. George’s mind was spinning at a million miles an hour, and he couldn’t possibly have focused on the words in front of him. Instead he rested his chin in his hand and turned his face to look out of the window beside him, his eyes watching the lights on the dark water. He tried to ignore the way Jack was fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, and the cutlery on the table in front of him. He wasn’t someone who often got nervous, and never around George. That, combined with the dinner, made for something he didn’t quite know what to make of.

Neither of them had said a word, except to give the waiter their order, and now George could feel Jack staring at him, and there was only so long he could avoid his gaze before it got rude. When he looked at Jack, he watched him inhale deeply, and finally he broke the silence.

“I’ve never been on a date before,” he said, quite matter-of-factly, and George had to take a large sip of his water to stop himself from choking. He didn’t know what surprised him more, the fact that Jack had never been on a date, or the fact that he was implying that _this_ was a date. He chose to focus on the former, it seemed easier than getting into the messy business of feelings.

“You haven’t?” he asked, trying to sound casual. Another nervous flicker crossed Jack’s face.

Maybe if he was feeling something that wasn’t strictly platonic for George, then maybe it was realising he felt that way that made him nervous. George didn’t know if that made him feel worse or better. While he desperately wanted his own feelings to be reciprocated, if Jack didn’t particularly want to get caught up in something more complicated, then that just made him feel like he was being rejected.

“No. Not a proper one anyway,” Jack shrugged.

“But you flirt with everyone?” George blurted out, the filter that was supposed to stop him saying everything he thought disappearing for a moment. At least it made Jack laugh.

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean anything.”

George scratched the back of his neck as Jack considered him thoughtfully. He still felt stifled by the tension sitting over them, like he could have suffocated if he tried hard enough. Eventually he had to say;

“So _this_ is a date?”

Jack swallowed hard and seemed to have trouble saying;

“If you want it to be.”

George was saved from having to answer that question when a waiter arrived with their food. Like he always did when they went out for food together, George automatically took half of the potatoes off his plate and gave them to Jack, taking some of the vegetables he knew he wouldn’t eat in return. Alluding to how he felt in the heat of the moment had been hard enough. But saying it straight to Jack’s face would be something else. But if he could stop acting like a coward for just a few minutes, then he would probably save himself a lot of trouble and a lot of pain.

“You know I do,” he said quietly. Jack’s face betrayed none of what he was thinking. George wondered if this was his way of apologising for everything that had gone on between them, but George didn’t think he had anything to say sorry for. If one of them did, it was him.

“I’m really sorry Jack, for fucking everything up,” he mumbled, stabbing at his food with his fork absentmindedly.

“No you didn’t. I’m sorry for what I said at Alex’s, I should have thought more about how you might have felt,” Jack said, shaking his head.

“You couldn’t have known. Heck! I didn’t even know how I felt.”

“And you do want to be with me like _that_?” Jack’s words were slow and stuttering, and even though he spoke euphemistically, George knew exactly what he meant.

“I do,” he nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up, “Do you?”

His question hung in the air for some time, and George was fully prepared for Jack to say no. And he looked terrified all of a sudden. And he wondered if that was the cause of all his nerves, that he was scared of having to let George down. But he just wished he could do it rather than drawing this out. But he just sat there, staring, like he had lost the ability to speak at all.

“Please just say something,” George whispered.

“Yeah I’d like that, but-,” Jack looked down at his plate, fidgeting in his seat again.

“But what?”

That little word had stopped George from getting his hopes up entirely. Was he about to tell him that he liked him but didn’t want to be with him? Because somehow that would feel worse than Jack not liking him at all. Maybe he wasn’t enough to get Jack to give in and change his ways.

“But I don’t want to let you down. I won’t be any good as a boyfriend, I can’t do all that hand holding and cuddling stuff, and the idea of public displays of affection makes me feel nauseous. I won’t know how to tell you I love you, and I’m horribly unreliable and probably no good for you. I’m not sure I can give you-wait, why are you smiling at me?” Jack ranted and rambled on until he saw George grinning.

Maybe it was the fact that somewhere in all those words Jack had admitted that he loved him. Or that he realised that the reason Jack had been so nervous was because he thought he wasn’t good enough for George, that he thought George would turn him down. George didn’t think there was a less likely thing for him to do in the world.

“I don’t need any of that stuff either,” he said, “I just want you.”

He was ten times shier than Jack would ever be, so the idea of parading around like a pair of show ponies with their relationship on display for everyone to see was vaguely horrifying to him. He couldn’t keep the grin off his face when he watched Jack tentatively smile at him, until he laughed lightly, shaking his head.

“What made you realise?” George asked, curious if it had been a gentle realisation like his, or whether it had been a more definitive point.

“I dunno. Probably knowing that you were with other people, I realised that I was really fucking jealous and then I realised why,” he shrugged as George flushed.

“I was acting like a moron,” he mumbled shoving a forkful of food into his mouth angrily, before he added, “I even kissed Alex.”

Jack laughed so hard that he drew several concerned looks from the waiting staff, and George was surprised that he hadn’t fallen off his chair when he finally calmed down. He glared at him, but it was half-hearted.

“You’ve got to be joking,” he giggled, wiping his eyes, “Do you think you could do it again while I watch?”

George choked on his mouthful of food before he flipped Jack off, making him laugh harder.

“You’re sick,” George said weakly as he coughed.

Jack just grinned at him, a beaming, blinding smile that George loved more than anything.


End file.
